Gum? You just need the right connections

     One of the more infamous laws in Singapore is the ban on selling and importing chewing gum (importing includes Joe Average walking off the plane with a few sticks in his or her possession). It's been illegal since 1994. However, it's not completely illegal to buy gum as I discovered during a recent trip to the dentist for a semi-annual cleaning.
     Dentists are allowed to sell gum for medicinal purposes. I had heard about this, but didn't give it much thought because I assumed "medicinal" gum would suck. While at the dentist, I saw Orbit sugar-free gum in the glass-covered display of dental-care products available for purchase. That would work. I used to be addicted to gum, but I was forced to power through the withdrawals.
     I'm back, baby! Here's my stash. The toothpaste and toothbrush were standard parting gifts, but the gum was well worth the S$1.70 per pack.

     So how is this all possible and what's to stop me from becoming a public menace with my gum? 
     The law was amended in 2004 when Wrigley leaned on the Clinton administration to include some concession as part of the U.S.-Singapore free-trade agreement. It was one of two final, uh, sticking points in the negotiations, according to Wikipedia. The other obstacle was a minor affair called the Iraq War.
     The ban was originally proposed because one of the country's top ministers was tired of it being used to vandalize public housing projects. What pushed it over the top to become law was how easily vandals were able to disrupt subway service by sticking it on sensors controlling the doors on the new high-tech subway trains. (Seems like that raises more important questions about the subway than the gum, but that's another topic.)
     Contrary to popular lore, you can't get caned for having gum in Singapore. But you will be named and shamed. Don't underestimate the power of shame in this culture. 
     Nevertheless, it doesn't seem particularly difficult to bring gum into the country as I accidentally discovered. I bought a pack of Japanese gum in Tokyo that really did suck (and it had sugar!), but I forgot about it in my coat pocket until after I got through Singapore customs. I threw it away when I got home, so I wasn't publicly humiliated. 
     All praise to Allah, Brahma, Buddha for that!

Relief with a view

     August marks our one-year anniversary of living in Singapore. Once again, the Ghost Festival is in full swing till the end of the month, providing enough chanting and joss-paper burning to keep even the most demanding spirits satisfied during their annual visit among the living. It's also the time of year when complaints to authorities about paper burning double, over-taking complaints about foul-smelling curry. 
     Despite the incessant sing-song and spot air pollution of August, it's been a good year here. Actually, a great year. I didn't think we would visit as many places as we did and I feel fortunate for that. No new trips are planned for the immediate future, but I'm confident Margaret will need to go somewhere soon -- and I'm hopeful of being able to go along.
     One of the things I miss most about not traveling is the opportunity for discovery at Singapore's Changi Airport. Not only is it one of the best shopping centers in Singapore, which is saying a lot in country whose national identity is synonymous with shopping, but we always make some new happy discovery.
     The last time we were there on our way to Bangkok, we discovered a 7-Eleven store (thank heaven!), free computer kiosks with internet access and a men's room that thoughtfully enables travelers to keep an eye on their departure gate. 

Relief with a view.

Fully Google-enabled.

For our next trip, I'm hoping we'll arrive early enough to ride on the giant indoor slide Changi installed to amuse kids and immature adults like me.

The bright upper-belly of Bangkok

   When you arrive in Bangkok and traffic rapidly slows, snarls and stops, the city delivers one big message loud and clear -- this isn't going to be an easy place to get around. It seemed like half of every outing we undertook was spent in transit. We primarily traveled by taxi, which was fine if you don't mind spending your vacation in the back of a car like when you were a kid. (Are we there yet?!) 

Safe and sane? We survived.

     One late afternoon, hot and tired after completing the guidebook's walking tour of the Old City, we resorted to hailing one of the ubiquitous tuk-tuks (motorized rickshaws) because none of the bright pink Taximeter cabs would stop for us and we were very much ready for the comforting embrace of our hotel's lounge. 
     Unlike the Taximeter cabs, you negotiate the price upfront with a tuk-tuk driver. We managed to get him down to his asking price, which was about double the price of riding in an air-conditioned cab. Beggars can't be choosers and we did arrive at our hotel in one piece without being completely asphyxiated by the noisy jalopy's exhaust, so well worth it.
     What does one see on the Old City tour? We started at The Golden Mount, a man-made hill topped by a Buddhist temple commissioned by King Rama III in the early 19th century as a gateway to the city. There are several shrines, lots of Buddha statues and rows of bells to ring, but mainly you get a 360-degree view of Bangkok. Our taxi driver tried to dissuade us from stopping here because he said it was only visited by locals, not tourists. He appeared to be correct on that, but the views were good.
  

In the distance is the Grand Palace (look for spires in the upper middle of this frame.) The palace is the most famous monument in Bangkok and where we nabbed the tuk-tuk.

Bang a gong or ten going up and coming down at several stations.

     After leaving the Golden Mount, we found a street that seemed like a wholesale clearing house for anyone looking to start or renovate a temple. It reminded us of the street outside the Vatican lined with clothiers devoted to catholic vestments for all occasions.
   

A lot of Buddha, but plenty of Hindu stuff as well. The two blend easily in Thailand.

     Next up is the Giant Swing. First built in 1784, it was used in an annual thanksgiving ceremony to the Hindu deity Shiva for the rice harvest. 

     Brave young lads would swing by their feet at the end of a rope attempting to snatch a bag of coins with their teeth. The ceremony was discontinued in the 1930s due to the high number of fatalities associated with the ritual.
     Further on, after you pass city hall and the Democracy Monument (both sites of uprisings and harsh suppressions), you arrive at Khao San Road. I haven't seen the movie, but I understand this is where one of the characters in Hangover 2 gets his face tattooed.

     It became notable in the 60s and 70s as a gathering spot for hippy backpackers. It's still a happening place, but I can't imagine any hippies recognizing it today. The good news is you can still get tattooed, acquire every manner of fake I.D. imaginable and indulge in other Thai-high endeavors after dark here.

You know you've lost your way to tropical exotica if you come across Subway and KFC. We did not return late-night to witness the dark under-belly of Bangkok.

     Upon refreshing yourself over a "big beer" (versus a "tower of beer") at one of the many watering holes along Khao San Road, turn left and hope your deity-given sense of direction steers you to the Grand Place, which is about as grand as it gets.

    

Behind the wall are some pretty amazing treasures, especially the Emerald Buddha which is kept in the
Royal Monastery (building on the right).

     The Royal Monastery is the king's personal temple and only he can touch the Emerald Buddha, which has a debatable past. It may have originated in Sri Lanka, India or Cambodia before being carted away to Laos and then Thailand after military conquests. No pictures are allowed inside the king's temple and since I was with Margaret I didn't test the patience of the royal security force this time. Below are a few more pictures from inside the palace to close this chapter of our Bangkok report.

  

Mythical giant demons (yakshis) guard an exit to Grand Palace. 

Mythical giant birds (garudas) fending off mythical giant snakes (nadas) at the Royal Monastery.

Real Buddhist monks getting their robes just right before entering the coronation hall.

Symbolic elephants with real soldier guarding the old palace. 

Of elephant riding and wine tasting

     We finally made it to Thailand. You may recall how I ruined our original plans to come here by falling on my face nearly two months ago. But now I'm fully recovered and able to do all the normal things you'd expect when visiting Thailand, like touring one of the emerging vineyards at this latitude on the back of an elephant.
  

Your intrepid tourists atop Honey the elephant. She showed her appreciation (disdain?) by going No. 1 
and No. 2 during our tour. That inscrutable, ever-present smile is tough to read.

Ead and Honey. 

     Hua Hin Hills Vineyard is built on a former elephant corral, where the Elephas maximus were domesticated for any number of uses. Honey's keeper, Ead, says these elephants have been known to live to 100 years old. At 40, Honey is just entering middle-age.
    This vineyard, located about 20 miles inland of the seaside resort of Hua Hin (125 miles south of Bangkok), was founded in 2004 and has produced some award-winning wines under the Monsoon Valley Wine label. During our visit to the Sala Bistro, conveniently located above the vines, we tasted a Columbard, White Shiraz and Shiraz. All three were excellent, even the rosy White Shiraz.
     Our table was set with three wine glasses and a plate of Thai hors d'oeuvres. But being complete oafs, we ate all the food with the Columbard instead of waiting for the other two wines to be served. No worries, or as the Thais say: "mai bin lie."  After completing the tasting, our waitress Kanokporn happily brought us more food and a full bottle of the Columbard which seemed to go really well with Sala Bistro's Thai-inspired tapas. (Before any of you get carried away with the porn in Kanokporn's name, be advised that many names in Thailand contain this seemingly fitting suffix given this country's reputation for anything-goes hedonism. I'm fairly convinced the porn in their names was added to humor immature American males like myself.)
     

Chicken satay, fish balls, shrimp won tons, 
coconut rice treats in banana leaf, toasts 
and several dipping sauces.

Kanokporn keeping our wine glasses full.

   

View of Hua Hin Hills Vineyard from The Sala Bistro.

We spent the other two of our three days in Hua Hin largely hanging out at the beach enjoying 
the incredibly soft sand and warm waters of the South China Sea.

A thousand words... at least

Door-buster special.

    Don't need a coffin? Take home one of these durians and someone just might keel over when you crack it open. It's fitting that of all the products this shopkeeper could have chosen to lure people into his casket showroom he chose durian -- the legendary "king of fruits" with the killer scent. 
     I took this photo last week in Johor Bahru, Malaysia, a fast-growing city about 15 miles north of downtown Singapore. Margaret was attending meetings in Hong Kong, so I took a day-trip across the Straits of Johor. I had two goals. 
     One, visit the Istana Besar (grand palace) that Sultan Abu Bakar built in 1866 to house the royal family, but it was closed for renovation. Luckily, I can get back pretty easily. It's basically a subway ride away.
     Two, eat lunch at one of the hawker centers in search of the authentic street-food experience that has been lost in Singapore due to the Lion City's sanitation standards, according to Lonely Planet. Thank goodness we can still slip across the border now and then and risk getting sick authentically.

Something for everyone.

     I chose this vendor because she had the biggest, most colorful and best organized spread in the long stretch of all the hawkers in the alleys across the street from the train station. Here's what I got for three ringgits (one U.S. dollar):

Authentically good... and I didn't get sick.

     I chose vegetarian to be on the safe side, a scoop of both the red and green curry, braised Chinese spinach, rice and a slice of roti, delicious fried bread stuffed with big slices of onions and other vegetables. I honestly have not had anything this flavorful at a Singapore food court. Next time, I may have the nerve to go for some of the meat and fish.

Cramped but workable.

     Johor Bahru (or JB, as the locals call it) has benefited mightily from it's proximity to Singapore. An estimated 300,000 people who work in Singapore live in the metropolitan area of JB (pop. 2 million). With a world-class port and financial center in nearby Singapore, many companies have built manufacturing plants here where the cost of living is about one-third of Singapore. JB itself is now home to Malaysia's largest container shipping center -- the 17th busiest port in the world. Singapore and Shanghai are basically tied at No. 1.
     As JB continues to modernize, it seems committed to preserving some of the authentic feel of the old city; but, with very little original charm to save, the locals seem eager to get on with the development. You can't really blame them.

Part of the new train/bus transportation center.

Preserved old station next door, with its Art Deco styling.

A break from nothing

     Since bashing my head into Martin Road a few weeks ago I've been under strict do-nothing orders. Sounds great, but like a kid thinking ice cream for lunch every day might be heaven on earth, it didn't take long for me to get sick of it. I got an idea for a low-impact escape when I saw a news report that Singapore will likely surpass Las Vegas this year as the world's second largest casino-gambling market. How strenuous could a trip over to the new Marina Bay Sands Casino be? 
     Even less so than I expected.

In fairness, it was Monday morning.

     I wasn't interested in playing slots or cards. My plan was simply to make a long-shot bet on the Mariners for grins and have a look around. Very low impact on all fronts. I quickly discovered, however, that despite showing the Yankees vs. White Sox game on the big screen, you can't bet on baseball in Singapore. The sports handle is limited to football (soccer) and Formula 1 racing only. 
     Alas, with no football matches or races of interest to bet on, the action proved too dull even for this invalid. Before heading back home, I took a quick walk around the main casino. I managed to get three frames shot before security politely put a stop to my game.

Pretty standard Vegas-style opulence.

      Macau is the undisputed casino-gambling leader with a handle four times larger than Singapore. Still, the Lion City's take ain't bad for a place with only two casinos and highly restrictive rules aimed at discouraging locals and encouraging out-of-town high-rollers. The lavish amenities surely help attract the big-dollar players. Those amenities include the opulent Marina Bay Sands Hotel next door, best known for both it's unusual architecture and... 

Night view courtesy of Wikipedia Creative Commons.

...its freaky looking roof-top pool 56 stories above the city.

This guy must be thinking, "Why is the riff-raff allowed up here?"

     Twenty local dollars gets you access to the Singapore Skypark. Not much of a park, but the views are pretty spectacular.

Where the money goes.

     Overall, though, it seems the park is designed to get you to take your pictures and get out. No big deal. It was time to get back to the sofa where I belong.

After the giddy is gone...

If a doctor or nurse in Singapore asks if you're giddy, they don't want to know if you're feeling pretty, witty and wise. They want to know if you feel dizzy. The good news is I only occasionally get dizzy now and the headaches are gone. The bad news is I may have a second fracture in my neck or back. No one asks if this makes you giddy. More on that in a moment.

I've been home almost a week and you can see that my black-eye is quickly fading. Luckily, I've had a polo shirt to match the changing colors of the bruises -- black, blue, orange, yellow and now a lovely lavender. It's been an eventful six days, by my bed-ridden standards.

Last Sunday, as I was heading out to watch a little basketball at Boomerang, I met Kumar a construction worker who gawked at me as if he'd seen a ghost. In some ways, I suppose it was a resurrection. I introduced myself and asked if he had seen me fall. "Yes," he said. "Can you show me where I fell?" He pointed down the street. "Did I make it across the intersection?" "Yes."

The road was freshly paved and painted while I was in the hospital. They could have memorialized me by changing the wording to Lump Ahead.

      Kumar explained that as I crossed the street coming back up the hill from the river, I stopped, kind of swooned and then went down like a felled tree, bouncing off my forehead first. The ambulance arrived in minutes, he said.

     "Was there blood?" I asked.

     "Yes," he assured me. "Lots of blood."

     A couple of days later, I was back at Singapore General Hospital (SGH) for a follow-up CT scan of my head. Of course, I demand nothing but the finest equipment and SGH delivered with the Siemens SOMATOM Sensation 64 CT Cardiac Scanner. Don't let that cardiac reference fool you. This baby can show you 64 slices of any body part you want except your soul. I'll get it all on a CD next week.

May you never need this deep a portrait.

     Later, Dr. Raj showed me how my head is mending nicely. There's a much smaller puddle of brain-fluid leaking out, hence my improved color. The skull isn't causing me any problems compared to a nagging pain that moves around my upper body -- chest, back, arms, neck. 

    Dr. Raj said it could be due to a second fracture somewhere in my neck or back, which like my skull can only mend with time. Taking more x-rays won't necessarily find a very small but painful crack, nor would it change the prescription. But he said if the pain doesn't start to fade in a week or so, more investigation may be necessary. Yippee...

    On the positive side, Dr. Raj said my heart is fine and did not cause the blackout. The general consensus is dehydration may be the culprit. It's not just me. I saw in the local newspaper yesterday that two Singaporean soldiers were also recently hospitalized due to "overheating." The army is launching an investigation. 

Dr. Raj looks over my record and pictures.

Doc's orders for now include:

• Avoid exercise except walking for three months.
• Drink something like 100 Plus and eat an energy bar before future running sessions.
• Take calcium pills for three months to help the bones mend.
• Take daily doses of Panadol, Tramadol and Celocobrix pills and apply Ketoprofene plasters to the neck, back, etc., until the pain starts going away. All the meds can be mixed. No kidding.

     The pain meds will be managed week-to-week. They're concerned about Tramadol being habit-forming, but I don't think it's good enough to make anyone crave it. Two pints of a decent ale would likely be more effective. 

     Celocobrix is a different story in my opinion. It's the generic of Celebrex, which has been marketed for arthritis relief. This can seem a bit more mind-numbing than the Tramadol. So take pity on any arthritis sufferers in your midst currently using the stuff. They're not going daffy necessarily, they' may be just high. Quietly do them a favor if needed. Turn off the oven. Get their keys out of the front door. And sweep up any broken glass. It could be you someday.